The club we went to was called “The Pentium” and was one of Tony’s more exclusive clubs. It was the one were the rich and the famous came to party at. I loved once again walking past the line and going straight into the club. Marco, Rocky and Lance left Rose and I sitting at a VIP booth and went off to get us our first round of drinks. Rose and I were chit chatting as we waited for the guys to return and I was looking around the club and taking in all the action. Marco and Rocky soon returned with some drinks and I asked, “What happened to Lance?” I notice a look exchanged between Marco and Rocky before Marco responded “oh you know he met a girl already” Something about the look and Marco’s word made me pretty sure he was lying to me. I don’t know why he would lie though. I decided to not worry about that but instead took the shot handed to me and downed it quickly. Rose and I then decided we were going to hit the dance floor. We danced to a few songs before heading back to the booth. Thankfully Marco was use to my clubbing ways and had another shot along with a mixed drink waiting for me and I noticed there was still no Lance. I downed my shot and that was when I saw Lance sitting across the club and he was sitting with Jeff. I saw Rose still had her shot glass in front of her and I grabbed it and slammed it down my throat as well. I didn’t say a word to any one as I walked off towards the bar. All I knew I was in need of a few more shots. I got the bartenders attention pretty easy and told him to hook me up with a double shot of tequila. He poured it for me and I slammed it down and nodded for him to fill me up. There was a guy sitting at the bar next to me watching me intently “Damn little one! I never have seen a pretty lady drink quite like you.” I looked at him gave him a smirk as I downed another double, signaled to the bartender I was done and said “I can out drink most men” then I walked back over to the booth. Marco had been watching me the whole time he gave me a small smile as I returned. “Don’t you dare smile at me mother fucker. Why didn’t you just tell me the truth about where Lance was.” I saw his smile falter “Lacey its always my job to protect you and that’s all I was doing” The shots were starting to hit me and I felt my body relaxing. I wanted to get out on the dance floor again so I grabbed Rose and dragged her with me. As we were dancing she asked, “What is going on?” “Nothing just my brother ditched us to hang out with my ex boyfriend who ditched me when I got shot.” Rose looked at me knowingly “The same ex boyfriend you are hung up on and can’t seem to stop thinking about?” “That would be the one.” We stopped talking after that and just enjoyed dancing for a while. Then I happened to glance over and see Lance and Jeff smiling and laughing with each other and that ended my night. I stalked off the dance floor. In fact I was so angry I didn’t say anything to anyone until I got to the bouncer at the door and I said “Get me a cab now” He immediately hailed a cab for me and I hopped in and told the driver my uncle’s address and leaned my head back. The driver must have noticed I was upset “Rough night at the club” “Rough life with guys” I responded. “You look a little young to already be jaded in life with guys” “You’d be surprised how early I learned” the rest of the ride was silent until I felt my cell phone vibrating. I looked down and saw it was Marco calling. I answered the phone and let him know that I had caught a cab home and that they could all do whatever they wanted, I was already back at Tony’s house. I paid the cab driver and slowly walked up the steps to the house.
I went straight to my room and stripped my dress off and found a bikini and slipped it on and made my way to the hot tub outside. I just needed to relax and I was really praying that no one bothered me for a while. Soon my peace and quiet was disturbed when I heard drunken voices making there way out to the pool area. I opened my eyes to see Lance and Jeff headed my way. I lost it, “You have to be effing kidding me Lance! Really?” I stood up grabbed my towel and as I walked by my brother I shoved into him hard causing him to stagger a bit. “Lacey” he started “save it for someone who cares Lance” and I made my way into the house I passed Rose, Rocky and Marco heading towards to the pool area as I was heading in. Marco took one look at my face and quickly motioned the other two to go on without him. “I guess you saw Lance brought him back with him huh?” “Yes my brother must be pretty drunk if he thought that was a good idea. I am going to shower then crawl in bed before I kill someone tonight.” Marco nodded his head at me and then headed outside to join the others.
The next day I didn’t speak to Lance until Lunchtime. He kept trying to apologize to me but I really wasn’t in the mood to hear it. When I finally did speak to him it was to tell him “You can hang out with who you want to Lance you don’t need my permission but next time warn me when its Jeff” Then I went up to my room for the rest of the afternoon. I fell asleep for a couple of hours. I knew I had to go down for dinner with my uncle but I still was not in the mood to be around people. I just hoped I could fake my way through dinner. Lance asked Tony about having a party at his house, tomorrow night and Tony was like sure. I looked at Lance strangely and I then asked, “Will Jeff be coming?” “Probably” I nodded my head but went back to eating silently and as soon as I was done eating I left the dining room and headed up to my room. I lay in bed for hours stressing over Jeff and a party tomorrow night. I had to stop letting this all bother me so much but I didn’t know how. I guess it was another case of faking it because I didn’t know what else to do.
The next day passed quickly or at least it seemed that way. I am sure it was because I was a wreck at the thought of seeing Jeff at the party tonight. I wasn’t ready to be at a party with Jeff. I especially wasn’t ready to see him with another girl and something told me that I would be seeing that tonight. The whole idea made me feel sick literally. Rose soon was knocking on my bedroom door. She had come to escort me to the party. I was dressed in a black bikini with just a pair of short jean shorts to cover up with and headed downstairs with her. I stopped by the bar first and grabbed a bottle of tequila and began tipping it up. By the time we made it to the pool area I had downed half the bottle of tequila. I was holding my bottle in one hand and had my other arm linked through Rose’s arm. We began walking around and she introduced me to a few people as we made our way to were I saw Lance sitting with Jeff. And of course each had some slutty bimbo in their laps. Marco suddenly appeared out of nowhere and steered me away from my brother. “I don’t think you need to go over there.” “Marco” I whined “I promise to be on my best behavior” He snorted at me and then laughed. “Ya sure Lacey, you would get over there and one of those sluts would say or do something and you would knock them out cold” “Think how exciting that would make the party though Marco” “How much of that bottle have you drank?” That is when Rose spoke up “It was full when she picked it up from the bar inside” I looked down at the bottle in my hand and realized it was only a quarter full at this point “Oops I maybe shouldn’t have drank so much huh?” I started laughing then. I handed the bottle to Marco and began sliding out of my denim shorts and then handed my shorts to Marco. I made my way over to the hot tub where there were like four guys and one girl sitting in it. I demanded that the girl leave and surprisingly she did. I saw Marco watching me giving me an eye roll at my attitude.
Rose joined me in the hot tub and at first we were all having a good time flirting and playing around until she called out my name and then the atmosphere in the hot tub changed. I noticed the four guys suddenly go quite and exchange looks with one another. One of them finally said ‘Your Lacey Santiago” “Yes is there something wrong with that?” Another one of the guys spoke up “Nope nothing wrong at all” I noticed all the guys were looking a little nervous. I knew then something was up but I didn’t what I looked over at Marco and then I noticed he was looking worried. “Okay one of you guys better tell me what is going on” I saw them all gulp and look again at each other and finally I pointed at one of them “You tell me right now” I could tell he didn’t want to say anything but I was not going to let it go. Finally after a few tense moments he said “Lance and Jeff warned all the guys to stay away from you tonight” I was speechless. I looked at Rose who was as surprised as I was, then my eyes cut to Marco and I could see it on his face the guys were not lying to me. Lance and Jeff had really had the nerve to warn guys away from me. I started climbing out of the hot tub and my eyes cut to were Lance and Jeff and their two sluts were still sitting at a table drinking and talking. I heard Marco mumble under his breath “This isn’t going to be pretty” I made my way over to my brother and ex. As I walked up to the table I spoke first to the girls “Sluts be gone” they both looked up at me and saw something on my face that told them to listen to me. As soon as they were gone I looked at Jeff briefly then cut to Lance “What the fuck is wrong with you warning guys to stay away from me?” I noticed Lance was not looking at me in the eyes. Then I turned on Jeff “You have no say on who or what I do so you had no right to warn any one away from me” My eyes cut back to Lance and said “You have anything to say for yourself brother?” He still said nothing and that pissed me off anymore and before I even realized what I was doing I felt my arm draw back and it landed a hard punch in my brother’s face causing him to fall back some and then I told them both “Fuck off and mind your own business” then I stomped off to Marco grabbed my shorts from him and headed inside the house.
I made it into my bedroom without talking to anyone else and I began digging around and found my stash of weed. I quickly filled my hitter up and fired it up and took a deep inhale of the wonderful smoke. I needed this to relax. I couldn’t believe Lance had warned guys away from me and even worse Jeff thought he could warn them away too while he had some slut on his lap. I was fighting going to find Jeff and deck him one too. I took a few more hits from my pipe and felt my body relaxing. Suddenly I heard a knock on my bedroom door and went to answer. I opened the door to see Jeff standing there looking slightly nervous. He should be nervous because I still wasn’t sure I wasn’t going to kill him. I started to slam the door in his face but he stuck his hand out and stopped me from shutting the door and said, “We need to talk” A deep laugh rumbled from me, “what could we possibly have to talk about?” He stepped in causing me to step back further into the room the door clicked behind him as he closed it and locked it. Now I was getting nervous. I didn’t want to be alone in a locked bedroom with Jeff. I felt my heart rate increase. “Lacey, look I am sorry I had no right to warn guys away from you. I am the one who chose to leave. I still don’t want to see you with anyone else and that’s not fair to you.” I was stunned was he telling me that he still cared? What was he saying I don’t know I was drunk and high and I knew my brain was not functioning normally. It could be why I started laughing.
I finally stopped laughing and saw that Jeff was looking at me with a smirk on his face. Then it was silent and we were just looking at each other and I heard a groan come from Jeff. “Lacey you still drive me effing crazy” I noticed he stepped closer to me as he said that and I tried to step back but his arms quickly grabbed me around the waist and pulled me into him. He was holding me tight to his chest we were so close to one another I could feel his breath across my face. “Jeff” it came out more as a moan then I wanted it too. Then before I could think his lips were crashing into mine. I stood there at first not responding to his lips on mine then I felt him nibble on my bottom lip. I moaned and my lips parted and his tongue slipped into my mouth and my arms snaked around his neck and soon I was responding to his kisses. I was lost in the feeling of kissing Jeff again. I had lost all rational ability and was only responding to the feelings he was giving me. Somehow my legs became wrapped around his waist and he was walking us toward my bed. We stopped kissing long enough for him to place me on the bed and then I felt the bed dip as he joined me. Soon he was hovering over me and our lips met again. Then one of his hands began trailing its way across my body. The passion between us was so intense. I felt like I was going to explode. It had been too long since I had felt this way and I knew there was no way I was going to be able to stop what was happening between us. The next five hours we spent loving each other in every way possible. I knew that this night had to end and there was something about the way the night ended that I knew this was our goodbye to each other. I wasn’t going to regret any of this. I needed closure and now I had it. I watched him walk out that morning and I gave him a genuine smile as he turned back to look at me before leaving and then shut the door behind him. I immediately slipped to the floor with my back against the door and the tears fell hard and fast until I was sobbing. I don’t even know how Lance got in my room but soon he was holding me as I continued sobbing. I still didn’t regret any part of what had happened that night but that didn’t mean my heart wasn’t still breaking.
Our time in Chicago soon came to an end and we were back home at the beach for the remaining weeks of summer. Chicago completed the change that began when Jeff left me. I finally had my closure and was ready to move on in life but the ice princess was here to stay. I may have decided to live again but no one would ever hurt me the way Jeff had. I would never again give a guy that kind of power over me.
Things had changed with Lance and I also since Chicago. I no longer talked to him unless I had too. It made it awkward when around our friends. It was hard having the same circle of friends. Beth and Amy did their best to keep me as far away from Lance during our times out. I know everyone wondered what happened during Chicago but neither Lance nor I were talking about it. I know I should be happy that Lance was there to comfort me after Jeff left me that night but in a strange way I also blamed Lance for Jeff being there that night.
It was the third week of school I realized that there might even be more to why I was so moody. I didn’t say anything to anyone I didn’t want to acknowledge what was going on. I wanted to pretend it wasn’t happening but after two more weeks passed I knew I couldn’t ignore it any longer. It was time to face it.
The first step to acknowledging it was by asking my mom to take a girl’s day with me. We went to the spa and had the works done and then headed to the mall for some retail therapy. Our trip to the mall was followed by a meal at a small bistro and as we waited for our meals to be served I knew it was now or never. I had already confirmed everything it was just a matter of me speaking the words out loud to someone. “Mom” I started. I noticed she looked at me with a small smile “I have something I need to tell you about my summer in Chicago” She looked at me with such love that tears immediately started falling from eyes. My mom’s hand reached for mine across the table “Go ahead Lacey you know you can tell me anything” “I know you know I saw Jeff during that time. What you might not know is that I slept with him again and well now I am pregnant” I looked at my mom and saw tears in her eyes. “It’s okay Lacey we can handle this. I will help you through this every step” this made me cry harder. I knew my mom would support me but I was still scared. I was pregnant and not even with the guy anymore. I finally said something that I had been thinking since I had taken the test three weeks ago “Mom there is a part of me that’s is thrilled to have a part of my love for Jeff but there is another part of me who is scared to death” She jumped out of her chair and grabbed me into a hug and she just held me as both of us cried in the middle of the restaurant. We finally settled down and our meals came and we ate. As we ate we discussed telling my dad and brother what was going on.
Arriving home my mom called my dad and brother into the den and we all sat down. An uncomfortable silence filled the room and my dad and brother kept looking from my mom to me and back again. I knew I had to say something but I wasn’t sure I could make the words come out. I took a deep breath “So I asked mom to gather us together.” I take another deep breath “I have something I need to tell the family. So um I just wanted y’all to know that I am pregnant” I look first to my dad then my mom and finally to my brother. My mother gave me a comforting smile. My dad and Lance both look the same right now and I don’t know if it’s hormones, nerves or both but their looks of disbelief have me laughing. Once I started laughing I couldn’t seem to stop I had tears rolling down my face and then soon the laughter is gone and the tears are still coming along with giant sobs and before I even knew what was happening I was wrapped in my dad’s arms and he was murmuring to me. Letting me know it was going to be all right that he would always take care of me no matter what. After my crying fit stopped my mom asked my dad to go with him to his office so they could make plans for my pregnancy and me. Lance was still sitting on the sofa looking shell-shocked. I finally had enough of the silence between us “Lance” I hated how shaky my voice was. His head snapped up and his eyes met mine. Slowly I saw the warmth in his eyes to let me know that my brother and I were still good. He opened his arms and I went running into my brother’s embrace and he hugged me and said “I love you sis and I am going to be the best uncle to this baby” after he said that I moved to sit next to him on the sofa. “It happened that last night in Chicago didn’t it?” “Yes, we were stupid and so caught up in each other that we didn’t stop even when our condom supply did” “Are you going to tell him?” That was the hardest question of all that I had since finding out I was pregnant to answer. I finally looked at Lance and told him “I don’t know. Right now I don’t want him to know so if you talk to him please don’t say anything” He nodded to let me know that he wouldn’t say anything. I told him I was going to wait until seeing a doctor before I said anything to anyone else so he had to keep quiet around our friends too.
Steve flying into the den made both Lance and I laugh interrupting our conversation. “Are the twins all made up and friends again?” Steve asked with a huge grin on his face. “Yes we are my brother finally admitted that I was superior to him so I forgave him” I heard Lance scoff as I finished. Steve wrapped me in a giant hug and then whispered in my ear “You can tell me what is really been going on with you when your ready but just remember I love you no matter what” Steve had no idea what his words did to me because I felt the tears start to pool in my eyes and I pulled away from him and quickly wiped them. I know my tears shocked Steve and I could see the question in his eyes even though he wasn’t asking out loud. I wondered if I could go ahead and tell Steve I knew he would keep my secret and wouldn’t say anything. I just don’t know if I could tell some one else how stupid I had been over the summer. It was going to be hard admitting to my friends that I had slept with Jeff over the summer. I wanted to hit myself sometimes. I noticed Steve was still watching me and I finally sighed and told him to sit down.
The next hour was spent with Lance, Steve and I talking about everything that happened in Chicago and after swearing Steve to secrecy I finally told him that I was pregnant and I saw him still and the shock come over his face and then just as quickly a big smile broke out and he said “Aw the little princess is going to be a mom” I punched him playfully and he laughed. The three of us spent the rest of the afternoon having a good time talking and laughing. Lance and Steve kept teasing me about all that I would miss out on being pregnant. However I honestly could say that I wasn’t to upset right now about missing out on partying as my hand went to my tummy I felt myself smile at the thought I may not have Jeff but I will always have a part of him now.
After taking a couple of weeks to really think things through I had come to the decision that I was not going to tell Jeff that I was pregnant. I talked it over with my family and Steve and they agreed to keep my secret for me. The rest of our friends and the kids at school never got more out of me then that the father was a guy I had hooked up with in Chicago. It wasn’t exactly a lie but it wasn’t the truth either. I felt confident that I was making the right choice for my baby and myself.
I was so thankful for my family and friends and the support they were giving me through this pregnancy. I don’t know how I would make it through without them. Lance and Steve were probably the two who were most supportive. They had already told me that they were going to be with me every step of the way and so far had stayed true to their word. They have been to each appointment I have had the last four months and were just as excited as I was to be headed to the doctor now to see what the sex of the baby I was carrying was. I don’t know what I would have done without my brother and Steve. Steve has been a rock for me he holds me when I cry at night because I am a hormonal mess. He has even offered to help me raise the baby. At times I want to give into Steve and let him claim the baby as his but I then feel guilty. There is a part of me that hopes one day to tell Jeff about our child. It just wont be anytime soon.
The three of us are sitting in the waiting room to be called back for my ultrasound and I notice an older lady giving me an ugly look. I can’t help but feel myself become irritated by her stares. Lance seems to notice the glaring between the lady and me and tries to warn me off. “Lacey don’t let her get to you. You have nothing to be ashamed of.” I loudly proclaim “You are the best brother ever” to which I notice the woman curls her lip and almost has a guilty look in her eyes. That finally makes me snap, “What is your problem lady?” I was shocked by her reply “Its sickening how many teenagers are having babies. I can only imagine you don’t even know who the father is probably spread your legs for every guy.” I felt my anger building and just as I was about to say something I heard Steve speak up. “Lady don’t talk to my girlfriend that way,” My head snapped to look at Steve and I could see he had his deathly serious face on showing he was not someone to mess with. Lance and I shared a look of bewilderment at Steve calling me his girlfriend but then I figured he did it to keep the lady from thinking less of me not that I really cared what she thought. Thankfully before any more words can be exchanged my name was called and the three of us stood up and made our way to the waiting nurse.
We were led to an exam room where I was asked to lay down and pull my shirt up and then the tech rolled paper towels into the waistband of my shorts as she rolled them down away from my bulging belly. I noticed Lance and Steve were watching everything that was being done with hawk like eyes. The tech warned me of the cold gel she was going to apply and I drew a sharp breath as the chill hit my tummy. Soon she had the wand rolling around the gel on my stomach and it wasn’t long before the wonderful sounds of a racing heart could be heard in the room and soon the image of my beautiful baby filled the screen. I was mesmerized, stunned, I felt like the world had stopped at that moment. I continued to stare at the image of my little one and didn’t even realize I was crying until I felt the moisture on my cheeks. The tech turned and looked at me and asked if I wanted to know the sex of my baby. I could only nod my head in the affirmative as I had lost my voice. I held my breath as the tech began “Well congratulations it’s a girl!” I felt a huge grin cross my face as the tears of happiness began to flow. I glanced at Lance and Steve for the first time and realized they were both frozen as they stared at the screen. Steve finally turned and looked at me first and whispered, “She is beautiful” Lance then spoke up “My niece is gorgeous just liker her mom” In that moment I was never as thankful for my brother. He made feel loved and comforted by his words.